And I found this Brilliant pic on dA. [link] (it is mature content so if you are too young to look, don't look but...) When I saw this my mind instantly went to Vimes/Sybil, G!G! and Vimesy drinking problem before he got married... it's just too damn easy.

I'll be honest, I've spent the last few days visiting my in-laws in a place where shaved ice regularly falls from the sky (never happens here in sunny california) playing family bored >.< Board! games. I woke up at 4 in the morning today and just got home, it's 11:40 pm. My brain is not at optimum efficiency. Perhaps after a good night's sleep this won't seem to bloody funny and I won't think I'm so clever. In the meantime, just humor me.

Ah who are we kidding? I can already imagine Vimesy looking sheepish, trying to hide how drunk he really is and think of a good enough excuse to salvage the evening.

Because today was my Six Year Wedding Anniversary, I'm giving you all a little treat. More Vimes/Sybil Drabbles!! (I've posted this on LJ already.)

1. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts – Bad Reputation

Vimes swung down with all his strength. The axe buried itself into the woodwork of the long table in the Rats Chamber. He took a step back and surveyed his work. After a long time, he nodded with satisfaction. Everyone thought that Vimeses and axes go together like cookies and milk and for once Vimes was willing to give people what they thought they wanted. He looked over the pale and shocked faces of the guild leaders that seemed to make up the city’s leaders. No one said anything. They just looked at the axe as it continued to twang. Then Vimes winked and walked out of the Rats Chamber.

2. Oasis – Champagne Supernova

“If you think I’m a mess now,” Vimes said to Lady Sybil once, “you shoulda seen me when I was a kid.”
True, right now he was a pathetic old drunk but in the old, old days, the days before Vetinari was even in power, the days when Vimes had settled into the Night Watch, he thought he knew about being jaded. Constable Vimes practically wore his cynicism like a trendy coat. He’d gotten his first taste of true loss and he thought that he’d grown as much as he could. He was still a stupid punk, just one that thought he had good reason to drink and experiment with the tastier stuff out of the evidence lockers. He’d tried it all. Well, he tried everything in the evidence locker. He didn’t take to anything much except the alcohol mostly because it was too much bother to actually ask every shady character lurking on a street corner if they were selling anything. It’s just easier to go to a pub.

3. Credence Clearwater Revival – Fortunate Son

Lance Constable Vimes waved Corporal Colon good bye. He tried not to resent Fred for joining the regiments so soon after Sergeant Keel’s funeral. Everyone was leaving him behind and what was Sam Vimes supposed to do now? Colon kissed his wife good bye, she’d actually taken the day off to see her husband out of the city. Colon looked at Vimes and they stood awkwardly trying to think of something to say.
“Don’t get shot, ok?” Vimes said at last.
“I’ll try not to.” Colon said trying to smile.

4. The Guess Who – American Woman

Ankh really seemed like a totally different city to Vimes sometimes. A river divided Ankh from Morpork and for most of his life; there was no reason to venture across it. Now, the Watch headquarters was on the Isle of Small Gods, right between Ankh and Morpork. Ankh was a strange place full of strange people but Vimes ventured there sometimes to see Lady Sybil, a definitely Ankhian woman, one that he’d tried to push away, one that he told himself that he didn’t need but still somehow found himself going to. He couldn’t get away and he couldn’t leave her. He knew he was no good for her and sometimes he’d tell her so. Neither of them seemed to care very much.

5. The Fratellis – Whistle for the Choir

Vimes took Lady Sybil to Harga’s House of Ribs once. It wasn’t as disastrous as he’d expected. Lady Sybil carried on about how she’d never had food quite like it. Then they went for a walk through the big, big city at around four in the morning. He hadn’t meant for them to be out so late but when he considered apologizing, he looked at Lady Sybil and realized that against all common sense, she was enjoying herself. She really must be lonely, Vimes decided, if she can have a good time with him. He wished she’d just admit it instead of acting like he actually was doing a good job of romancing her.

6. Cheap Trick – I Want You To Want Me

Lady Sybil Ramkin’s wants had always been simple. When she was a child, she just wanted to get through school without trouble. When she graduated she just wanted to take care of her swamp dragons and she considered the entire swamp dragon population of the Disc, her swamp dragons. After meeting Captain Vimes, her wants became slightly more complicated but not much. She just wanted him to want her. She wanted to comfort him when he felt like dying. She wanted to run to him when he called her. She would have loved for him to love her. She needed him to need her. Simple, right? Wants are always simple, the complicated part is actually getting what you want.

7. Up Soundtrack – Married Life

At Number 1, Scoone Ave, there was a Ghastly Pink Drawing Room and in said drawing room, there was a bookcase. In the bookcase, there was a thin, white leather bound book with the words ‘Our Wedding’ written in gold letters. Beside it was a much thicker book that if it had been labeled, would have had the words ‘Our Life’ written across the front. There was one picture from the Vimes-Ramkin wedding, some spontaneous iconographs Sybil had taken of Vimes while he wasn’t looking but she thought he looked especially endearing, others were taken at Hogswatch, there was one family iconograph taken on Koom Valley day, in Koom Valley and there were iconographs of their son as he grew up.

8. Six Pence None The Richer – There She Goes

Captain Vimes’ mind started to wander. Your men think you need looking after… a sweet and gentle voice whispered his head. This time, Vimes almost screamed. It was not the first time that Lady Ramkin found her way into his thoughts and honestly, he was getting a little tired of it. He’d be damned before he was lovestruck. He was a grown man and grown men do not daydream about women that smile at them. Even if they do have warm and loving smiles… Stop it! Vimes glowered at his paperwork. Captain is such a dashing title… Vimes groaned.

9. Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares To You

This should have been about as perfect a moment Vimes could ever experience. It was raining heavily and his shift was over and he had the Bunch of Grapes all to himself. There were no yentah subordinates grilling him for details about his personal life, no conniving superiors that pretended not to be as interested in his personal life as his subordinates were but were very clearly waiting for him to admit something and there were especially no high born ladies looking disappointed whenever he reached for a full glass of whiskey. He knocked back his glass and slammed it down. The bartender refilled it. Vimes stared into the full glass but couldn’t conjure up the desire to take another drink. Jimkin Bearhugger was losing his touch, Vimes thought. Whiskey just didn’t taste as good as it used to. He was self aware enough not speculate why. He hated to think that he actually missed Lady Sybil’s concerned expression.

10. Ricardo Arjona – Desnuda

“Just what do you think you’re staring at, Sam Vimes?” Sybil asked with haughty disapproval.
Vimes didn’t say anything. He just kept watching her. Eventually he grinned. Sybil blushed and looked away quickly. She reached for a bed sheet to cover her body. Vimes yanked it back playfully. This was probably the only time Sybil was more neurotic than Vimes. She was a Big Girl and she hadn’t been bred for beauty. She’d only see the rolls and cellulite and the slightly saggy skin when she looked herself over. So for her mental health, she didn’t look too hard at herself when she had to be naked, like in the bath. Vimes, like most heterosexual men, don’t see all those little flaws on a naked woman. Maybe they realize, on a subconscious level, that when a woman’s undressed in their presence, they’re getting to see something that no one else would ever be allowed to see. They’re being let in on a great secret.

I've posted this on livejournal but I felt like posting it here to.

Ok, those that don't know the rules to the meme they go as follows:
oo1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.
oo2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
oo3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!
oo4. Do ten of these, then post them.

(I cheated a bit, everyone always does at least a little. It's a fact of this meme. Sometimes, I skipped, sometimes I hit repeat. Sometimes I hit stop and started typing before starting the track. Oh gods of memes please forgive me for my sins.)

1. If I Fell – Across The Universe Soundtrack

Trust was probably the underlying issue for Vimes. He would have to trust that Lady Ramkin was different and that he was different and that the universe wasn’t consistent. He almost wanted to ask her deeply personal questions like ‘are you sure that you won’t try to change everything about me?’ and ‘how do I know that we both want the same thing?’ These were such personal questions that neither of them knew the answer and were probably different in different Trousers of Time.

2. You Were Mine – Dixie Chicks

There’s a theory that after having a child, a couple will last maybe seven more years together. Young Sam spotted the pattern at school. All his friends’ parents were splitting up or already divorced. His were the only parents still together. He voiced his concern to his father after he and his mother had a fight.
“Are you and mum gunna get a divorce?”
Vimes was floored. Where the hell had he gotten that idea? He and Sybil had just had a little fight. Nothing to worry about, right? Couples fight sometimes.
“No.” He said.

3. The Way I Am – Ingrid Michaelson

Sybil and Vimes stood together in front of the Dean. Sybil couldn’t stop smiling. She was getting married. She was getting married to a wonderful man, who was bitter, cynical, neurotic, devious, smart (though he didn’t believe it), charming, funny and passionate. Vimes looked at Sybil and made a face that clearly asked, ‘what? What are you looking at? Cut it out, you’re giving me the willies.’ Sybil’s smile broadened, not listening to the question that the Dean asked about promising to love, honor and obey him until death did they apart.
“I do.” She answered honestly.

4. Against All Odds – Phil Collins

“He’s just being stubborn.” Sergeant Colon said unfeelingly.
“He’s hurt. He misses Lady Ramkin.” Carrot said with sympathy.
“He wouldn’t be missing her if he’d just lay off the drink.” Colon quipped.
He was proud of it. He almost wanted to say again but Carrot conceded the point.
“Are we gunna have to move out?” Nobby asked.
Carrot and Colon glared.
“What? I was just wonderin’? It is her house.”
Colon sighed deeply and stood up.
“That’s it. He’s done this lots of times and I’m bloody sick of it. C’mon Carrot, we’re gunna have an…”
“Intervention?” Carrot suggested.
Colon snapped his fingers and nodded. “Right. Nobby, go pick the lock on the door, Carrot and I will jump him when he tries to make a run for it.” He hesitated for a moment. “When did you say those meetings are, Carrot?”

5. Stay – Coal

Sam staggered home at three in the morning. He wasn't the first husband in history to do this. But… most husbands who stagger home at three in the morning do it because they spent a night at the pub. Not because they spent the night chasing after dangerous criminals. Sometimes Sybil wondered if it was better that way. It was just as hazardous for his health wasn’t it? But it was something for him to be proud of. Sam had never been proud of drinking. Vimes kissed his wife’s cheek respectfully and promptly fell asleep. Sybil turned over and inched close to him. He smelled like the city, of smoke and cement and rain and carts and sweat. She nuzzled her face into his neck and breathed in his smell.

6. Kissing You – Des’ree (Romeo + Juliet soundtrack)

“Good night.” Vimes said shyly.
“Good night.” Sybil replied.
Neither of them moved. They avoided looking at each other and coughed uncomfortable.
“Bugger this for a game of soldiers.” Vimes growled and…
He kissed her. Every time they were together, Sybil hoped that he’d kiss her and he finally did. Sybil closed her eyes and tilted her head. Sam’s hands were holding her face firmly so she couldn’t pull away even if she wanted to. She never wanted to. His stubble scratched her skin, leaving her mouth feeling raw. He tasted of whiskey and that smell of when it’s about to rain. When he pulled away, Vimes and Sybil smiled shyly at each other both knowing perfectly well that they’d never want to kiss anyone else ever again.

7. Street Fighting Man – Rolling Stones

Constable Sam Vimes stood in Sator Square listening to another fool in a frilly shirt ranting passionately about Lord Snapcase. Sam rolled his eyes. It wasn’t that he thought Snapcase was doing a good job. Sam knew that man was mad and he knew that he’d killed Sarge on his first day as Patrician. He wanted him gone to but Sam considered, when he’s gone we’re just going to get another bastard so why even bother?

8. Blackbird – Across The Universe Soundtrack

“Birdy goes tweet!” Young Sam declared alarmingly, giving his father a pleading look. He was pointing a black bird that was struggling in the gutter. One of its wings was broken. It probably wouldn’t last much longer. Already there were cats sitting up and watching it attentively. Vimes stared at the bird and remembered that it wasn’t that long ago that he was struggling in a gutter too. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and picked the bird up carefully.

9. That’s All I Have to Tell You – Last Unicorn

When the door bell rang and Willikins went to answer it, Sybil panicked. She wished suddenly that Brenda and Rosie weren’t in the dragon pens right now. She was having trouble switching gears from swamp dragons to… Captain Vimes… Sam! His first name was Sam. In the circumstances, it was probably safe to think of him by his first name. Sybil let her mouth run on automatic while they dined together. She thought she wouldn’t be able to say anything to him. She thought that her voice would fail her. But she just kept talking, not even hearing her own words. It was a relief when Sam interrupted her and asked about Errol. She finally got control of her voice back.
“Your men think you need looking after…” The dots hung in the air, telling him what her voice was afraid to admit so soon.

10. Tonight’s the Night – Rod Stewart

Vimes wondered if Sybil was as tired of staring up at her ceiling at night as he was at his. Maybe not. If she really wanted to… to do… that, she wouldn’t have given him his own room. Gods help me, I live with my… friend’s… girlfriend’s… er… mistress’s… fiancee’s? Well, he hadn’t proposed to her and they weren’t sleeping together… We’re getting off the subject here! Right, he lived with Sybil… kinda and he had his own room. Did she realize what that does to a man? You should have said something. He didn’t want to push though. As far as he knew, he was her first serious boyfriend. Ok, he never asked her. He knew better than to ask about the past boyfriends. He cursed and tried to sleep. He couldn’t at night though. Had he mentioned that to her? Maybe he should. He got up and walked next door. He knocked quietly and wondered if he was doing the right thing.

“Er… you know, I work nights…” He said and felt like a fool even as he said it.
Sybil went to the door after a long time, she looked flushed and a little disheveled. Vimes tried not to notice. But there was a little part of him that did and thought ‘aaaah…’ with an obnoxious grin.
“By Io, you’re right. Sorry… I suppose you want to do something.” Sybil said with a crooked smile.
Vimes tried not to think about what he wanted to do in case she could spot it.
“You could say that…” He admitted.
There must have been something in his tone. Sybil looked down timidly and blushed.
“Do you… want to… come in?” She asked, staring down at her feet.
Vimes thought about it carefully.
“Yes, I would.” He said solemnly hoping that she meant what he meant.
There are moments when a couple is on the same page. This was one of them.

Bonus Vetinari drabble: Maggie May – Rod Stewart

The young Assassin watched the Uberwald sunrise. He reminded himself that technically it was the same sun that rose in Ankh-Morpork. It didn’t feel like the same sun. He carefully closed the curtains and turned to the coffin in the middle of the room. With one more glance to make sure that no sunlight was sneaking in, he knocked politely on the coffin. The lid slid open slowly. Lady Margolotta looked up at Vetinari with a sleepy smile. “Yes?”
Vetinari smiled faintly and said, “The coach will be here soon and I wanted to say good bye.”
“Good byes are overrated, Havelock. Or did you mean to severe all ties from me?” Margolotta asked with a little grin.
“I’ll write.” He said, sounding like a child for the first time in his life.
“Good. So will I. It would be the… diplomatic thing to do.”
Sensing that her nonchalance might have hurt his feelings, Margolotta sat up and kissed Vetinari gently on the corner of his mouth.
“I look forward to your letters, Havelock.”

I have 666 comments! Isn't that funny?



That is all.

Behold, Eru!

Here is the sapling that is my Plan!

[link]

Boom De Ya Da! a la Discworld! Featuring various noteworthy Discworld characters. Don't tell me you wouldn't pay good money to hear Vetinari say Boom De Ya Da or I love the whole world. XD

Here's what I have worked out so far, mostly 'cause when I first saw this video it reminded me a little of The Last Hero:

Leonard: It never gets old, huh?
Carrot: Nope.
Leonard: It kinda makes you wanna...
Carrot: Break into song?
Leonard: Yep.

I have absolutely no idea when this will be done or if I'll even be able to do it 'cause I can't draw to save my life and I'll have to convince someone to animate a one minute short, so I'm just mentioning this because I thought it was amusing but don't get your hopes up too high, dear friends.